Mr & Mrs Smith

1. He likes western movies. 2. He has a bottomless stomach for sugar. Like vanilla ice cream and wintergreen mints. 3. He is a musical athlete. 4. He is more likely to tell you to get over it and move on. 5. He always wants a full body massage Oh and he turns 31 today . And I made him this secret video because he didn't want anything for his birthday. He said birthdays are just commercialism at its best. But I just wanted him to feel special. He didn't even want a key lime pie. Mr Smith, we would slobber you with kisses, but this home music video will have to do for now . .  . What Matters Most     Per annoying copyright you can only view this video on a computer and not your phone. The video has flaws and a little cheesy at times but it's not bad for an original birthday card. I would have done more if I had time.

I was going to bed and then I thought what the heck, I'll gnaw on some homemade bread and throw some excess verbiage out into the unknown. All at once I feel like my back molar might fall out, an invisible ant is crawling on my arm and I didn't know how to spell gnaw. I was doing the dishes I ignored and then forgot about when it was a sane time to do them, so I'm trying to pick up each dish in a whisper. But we have ants now, so it has to be done. My best and most humorous thoughts come to mind late at night during my dish washing chores, but hardly anyone hears them because I am left alone and I forget by the time I come to the computer. But let me ask you a question. Do you ever have those times where dinner goes all wrong? I feel like that is my moment in the 24 hour day to prove myself. The babes are always irritable and demanding. The honey is running late at the office. Your temperature is rising, the mess piles up from the meals earlier that day, there...

Sometimes I'm up way too late stalking photo blogs thinking about how much cooler I could be, maybe thinking a little bit about how far I've come, but mostly about how far I have to go. I know you may think I'm foolish, but I doubt myself all the time! I have yet to balance confidence and room for improvement. I like things to happen fast. So for me, I'm ready to try again tomorrow. But I also want the big staging area and prop wall. And then a second later I wonder if any of it is worth it. I wonder if I'm good enough. If people even care about photos. Since when did positioned babies and backdrops become a thing? I'm a minimalist at heart, but there are several categories where I feel like I could easily splurge with no practical reasoning at all, unless "just because they're great" counts. Mr Smith says no. 1. Photo props. I-love-thrift-stores. And window shopping etsy. 2. Fabric or blankets. Always a project. Always cold toes. 3. Cookb...

They are so rare! I am the biggest whiner I know and I can definitely be a debbie downer if I'm not careful. I don't mean to be that way, I just tend to see what could be better. Some people get really bogged down by that so I try to bite my tongue on occasion. But it's nice when I don't even have to try. Like this one time Mr Smith treated Lexi and I to lunch. We found a nifty boutique and antique mall up the way (I got that rocker that I plan on painting white for 50% off, so $15, exactly what I was hoping for), experienced the best teriyaki chicken I've ever had at Nara's & took a stroll along a beautiful little park right next to Mr Smith's office. We even ran into some friends when we stopped by Aldi on the way home (Lenior has an Aldi too so we killed two birds with one trip) What other perfect moments do I remember? I definitely need to make sure I write them all down. What a fun list to go back to! Perhaps when I realized this...

I'm trying to play catch up before our FL trip completely forgets about adorable moments like this one time when we had Asher come play while the rest of his family went skating. I was so excited for Lexi to have a playmate. She has always done well with other kids. She shares. She hugs. She acts like they are immediately her bff. You can't get much more adorable than the following . . . She also became bffs with all of the girls at church on Wednesday night:

The Sunday lesson for this month is Ordinances & Covenants. I combined the lesson into what, how & why: What? An ordinance is a sacred, formal act that has spiritual meaning.  Some ordinances are essential to our exaltation, called saving ordinances, which are baptism, confirmation, Melchizedek Priesthood, temple endowment & temple sealing.  As part of each saving ordinance, the recipient makes covenants with God. A covenant is a sacred agreement between God and His children.  "Throughout our lives, whether in times of darkness, challenge, sorrow, or sin, we may feel the Holy Ghost reminding us that we are truly sons and daughters of a caring Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we may hunger for the sacred blessings that only He can provide. At these times we should strive to come to ourselves and come back into the light of our Savior’s love." (Hales)  How?  We become converted and spiritually self-reliant as we prayerfully li...

Sorry I lied about blogging over the weekend. I prefer to write my thoughts more than speak them, but I guess even that took a back seat to my laziness or maybe I'm just getting even more private. Or maybe I just text things to my local bff and blow up Mr Smith's phone in that way he loves. He puts it on silent just for me. But really I've just been keeping my anxiety to myself. But my head is spinning and I'm not sure what coherent thoughts or solutions are being produced, if any; a lot a bit of nothing keeps me up a little later. I've decided my anxiety stems from my inability to be satisfied with my work and move on from self-perceived follies. However, sometimes I notice how Lexi gets anxious and I wonder if it's something I'm doing wrong as a parent. I don't want my anxiety whispering nonsense to her.  This week is supposed to be gloomy nonstop. There is a chance of rain at any given moment. I think that's awful. But in reality, it'...

This girl be crazy. I'm trying to set up for a shoot and here she comes  tromp tromp tromp. smash smash smash. victory for her. I'm sure I will blog this weekend. It's a Thursday, and I just can't muster the energy. This girl be wearing me out. And I'm tested every day whether or not I'm (mostly) going to be the "it's not a big deal" type of mom or the "the world is ending get out of my way" type of mom. Gosh the decision seems so easy when I write it out like that. But when I was in the other room doing dishes the other night I hear "gosh darn it. go away" from Mr Smith. And I laughed and was grateful. Because it's nice to feel that it happens to everyone. Those moments . Yes, they want to climb all over you and want your full attention in their waking hours, and it's exhausting in every kind of way. But gosh darn it - the really cute moments of raspberry blowing, tight hugs & that moment...

So I have been sitting on this post for awhile, which isn't like me. I normally post and go back and edit later. (That's the impatient side of me). I had something to say, but was afraid people would read too much into it. Basically, I didn't want people assuming I have marriage problems. We do, but they are probably like yours. I.e. relationships and understanding another person as completely as your spouse is hard. So, once I read this post , I decided that was the equal sentiment that gave me the push to share. …………………………………………………………………………. "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." We are all trying to understand that identity and purpose. We are trying to understand how we can balance the divine nature and destiny within us all. "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."  - To wives who don't want to ...

Alexis has learned her first sign. I think we were using it some without realizing. She never really caught on to "more" but we would use "more" and "food" together. Eat/Food And today she started signing without prompting (which is typically me asking her if she is hungry). Right as I picked her up out of her crib she motions those little fingers to her mouth. hahahaha it's the.cutest.thing.ever. Now, I wish we could get her to understand "all done" without throwing the food on the ground. You can definitely tell she is understanding a lot more. Although she hasn't started repeating words yet, she is better at repeating noises or actions. She also started saying bye and folding her arms for prayer. Her list of regular words: coming in at #1 is mom or mama. Then hey, hi, bye, bu (book) & woof which I realize is a sound not a word. Most of the rest is baby gab. Every now and then you'll hear her say baby, papa, n...

Don't ever ask a married couple when they plan on having kids, because the answer you want isn't really what you want to hear. We are trying. Because you want to know what that means? Right. Way to be awkward lady - who isn't my spouse - so just keep your curiosity about our love life to yourself. It also can be very sensitive when I have been trying for years . If I want to talk about that heart ache, I will. But guess what, I'm not. Your subtle inclination to bring up the topic is not subtle at all.  What you don't want to hear is only a responsible decision, if in fact we are not trying, it's because we are waiting until we both feel the time is right, for both of us mentally & physically. It's planned parenthood, but in no relation to the abortion promoting secret combination group which isn't secret but still evil . We understand God's will and are capable of thinking about it together - that is without your opinion. And if you ...

We finally made it to the official Looper Rd 4th of July. And although we miss Nana & Papa terribly, it's Lexi's turn to go to grandma's house. Who doesn't love an overdose of red, white & blue?  God bless America I am just grateful to be a citizen of this great nation, a nation promised to those who remain faithful, a promised nation that honors freedom & promotes democracy. I am grateful for this country where I have a voice and the power to choose. There is so much potential here. And I know that's a blessing. However, I fear for our nation when we forget the very foundation which allowed us to thrive. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness; that, to secure these rights, governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of th...