Mr & Mrs Smith

Many may know I've battled with family traditions, specifically Christmas ones for awhile now. I  don't fall in love with most traditions, especially those that are just for the sake of tradition and Mr Smith even more so. However, I do believe the scriptures make reference to righteous AND unrighteous traditions of their fathers, so we can filter for our own families. I only want our heart in it. I want our kids to enjoy time as a family and traditions are great for them.  With Christmas, I also need Christ in it. We are celebrating Him and that's why "happy holidays" makes me a little squeamish. So it's Hanukkah too and some Christians are beginning to wonder if it's best to celebrate with them vs the pagan roots of many Christmas traditions (or are they, it is debatable?!). I think there is a balance with no need to go to the extreme. While other cultures are fascinating, we do have to find a way to celebrate Christ. While our daily efforts are ess...

I've never been good at being concise. I like words too much. I think outloud. And I haven't had time to blog all these conversations & posts & mental thoughts and it's eating at me to write it all down, to get it out there. These are some words that no one understands anymore: love, tolerance, faith, forgiveness, covenants, judgment, respect, moderation, self-worth, humility, equality...at least if they say they do, I wouldn't believe them. In truth, I think we should be forever understanding what these words mean. Yet I hear people affirming over & over again in their actions & with their voice that they want to be right and they want you to know it & accept the choices they're making. So much for democracy & freedom. They might say "to each his own" but I'm not idealistic anymore, people don't really believe that.  I reference "the world" a lot. Let's clarify what I mean. We can start with Holly...

This came together last minute, but I've debated about what to do for the typical American "Easter basket" - I'm sure I posted about this last year & you know how I feel about gifts, not wanting anything to take away from why we celebrate Easter. We enjoyed a spring carnival last year, and I wanted to keep any gifts or egg hunts at that - spring fun. I found cute, small gifts in the Target $1/$3 bins that I wanted to give them but I didn't want to just gift them you know? So this is what I came up with for this year if you're like me and need an idea: Easter Treasure Hunt. They basically had about 7 gifts to open, from bouncy balls, a small wooden bowling set, some little wooden figurines & a book. So I wrapped them all up. Most were for them to share, sometimes there was one for each. I took 7 envelopes and Mr Smith & I came up with 7 Easter/conference related questions, namely: Why do we celebrate Easter? What does the word Resurrection me...

God knows us. I have a very real testimony of this. He loves us. I know this like I know the sun rises in the morning. This love allows him to hear the prayers, the small ones we imperfectly say to our minds as our heads hit the pillow AND the ones with tears that stream down in our car when every ounce of our existence feels defeated.  I remember those times in the beginning where I felt the comfortable life was too good to be true. I just knew something else would be coming that I needed to be prepared for. Life wasn't going to go according to my ideal plan. And that time surely came. I'd like to say I was emotionally and mentally prepared for it, but certainly that has been His goal, to make me stronger. I did not think I would repeat this opportunity multiple times, but that's where the faith really grows. I have not been alone in this journey of uncertainty. I honestly couldn't imagine time stopping in that first phase. I think of all the relationships that ...

I know once a month isn't enough to help me remember my thoughts at this time or catch every cute and terrible thing my children do that I do want to remember, but I have my excuses. This weekend has been wonderful not just because Dad is here to put Dallin down for his naps, but because it's General Conference! Even though I half hear things and I take it more casually than I should (pen, paper, prayers & meditation before, during & after didn't happen) but it goes to show you simply TRYing to listen and set aside time to hear even part fills you with a sense of peace you don't naturally get in this world. So just imagine if we really gave the gospel our all, we would become something so much greater overnight.  But I know my Savior still loves me even though I am so slow. I want to yell COME ON KAYLA yet He is oh so patient & loving, which just reminds me how I have a lot to learn. This doesn't mean I can excuse myself and rest just low enough und...

When I do have time to write, it's mostly about my children because they are the cute munchkins that change so much so fast and I feel like I'll forget so I'm hopelessly grasping just enough time to let me write it all down for the sake of memory, mostly out of fear. I realize in heaven we'll have a perfect recollection. How amazing would be it be to remember only every single cute moment and never have to repeat any of the awful ones? Like can I repent for yelling or acting like I was 3 today? Can that not be part of the perfect recollection in the next life? Yes, thank goodness for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. My biggest fear in this life is that I don't lean on Him enough.  I've said it repeatedly over the last week, how I realize I hold Lexi to a high standard. Honestly, I'm hoping I have the same standard for all of my children, but the oldest is always "the one who knows more and, therefore, she should act better". I hope I don...

I've been wanting to blog about them for sometime now but there is so much to say! and wait for that I've just put it off. Their story is amazing, miraculous and faith building. I love my brother and his wife. We told them kids will change everything, but their story surely takes it up a notch or two. Because they couldn't just have one. They had to announce twins that came to them only a short time after "giving it to God" when they were told it might not be easy for them to get pregnant. My brother likes to prove everyone wrong. What a blessing. Twins are scary, sure. You automatically join this niche group of parents who need a support group because the first year of twins will feel like you're drowning they say. But it gets better they say. "I couldn't imagine" says everyone else. But soon after they found out they had twins, they were also told one will most likely die. I have a hard time even saying that out-loud, let alone soak i...

My thoughts as Mr Smith and I read through "The Miracle of Forgiveness" I think we make a lot of excuses and justifications for not becoming our best selves. I think we want to sugarcoat our efforts but inevitably put off our shortcomings as a natural part of life. Not because they aren't, but because we aren't ready to change them. It is probably worse if we refuse to recognize weaknesses as something to overcome. However, we really want those closest to us to do that very same thing. We like being comfortable and maybe that is the biggest hurdle for many of us. When life becomes uncomfortable, we don't evaluate it as life going according to plan - quite the contrary. We want to go back to comfortable as quickly as possible, but maybe we should recognize it as our chance to grow, become stronger...to become worthy of greater blessings. And maybe, just maybe we should even encourage the uncomfortable. We may call these uncomfortable times as trials, i...

I waited in the driveway telling Lexi we had to get tickets before we could leave. Every day we initially wanted was quickly filling up and I was left in a panic to just get something in January to guarantee that we got to go. Mr Smith committed to making it work, so we went through during Friday morning Jan 29th and it was wonderful!  The general public is able to go through a couple months prior to a temple dedication - you are guided through the baptismal font, the endowment rooms, the sealing rooms & the celestial room. Every room I walked in was just "stunning" and I can't wait to actually attend a session with Mr Smith once dedicated. Some people may still see it and think of the old tabernacle, music hall, or meetinghouse. I met there a few times back in college for Stake Conference or Christmas concerts. And when it burned, I thought it was sad & surprising, but it was always meant to be something so much more. I'm glad we get to see it as ...

I hate to think making statements about how awesome motherhood is and how it's the best work I could be doing might dim the light of others who haven't had the same opportunities for one reason or another. If it's because you don't want it, then I still feel bad because being a mother is so great.  Something I'm now having the opportunity to witness is meeting up with friends from my pre-marriage life who have kids now and it's awesome to see the love carried forward. This is the direct quote from Elder Holland I referenced a few days ago:  No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child [...] Bear, borne, carry, deliver.  These are powerful, heartening messianic words. They convey help and hope for safe movement from where we are to where we need to be—but cannot get without assistance. These words also connote burden, struggle, and fatigue—words most a...

Although I want to say this to all of our immediate family (and we have in various ways on a number of occasions), the truth is people do as they wish and make excuses until they give it an honest thought. This primarily goes out to my children. Perhaps it will make more sense to you for the waiting period may be over by then, but at least you can understand our beliefs in the matter at hand. Our goal will always be to encourage you to have faith and be believing in all things pertaining to the gospel because you want to .  Not because you have to earn His grace , but because His grace should become your motivation in this life.  Some of the gospel principles we've been taught surround self sufficiency in our temporal needs. It will surprise you how many people live day to day or paycheck to paycheck and don't really understand what being self sufficient means and it hurts worse when they don't care or feel entitled to the opposite - especially when America truly is a ...

There is a talk by President Spencer W Kimball of the church back in 1976 on Family Preparedness .  He covers just about every aspect including the year supply of food. His emphasis leans toward developing a strong work ethic. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to give up this part-time work to focus on my family more - so that I can do more fun things with Lexi and work on home projects. And while I think there is time to make quality time with the family, society today has distorted what quality time should be. I fell for it. When I do stay home full-time with the second child, I have to move past the elaborate craft projects and museum trips, when in reality those aren't the necessary norms in order for my children to grow and develop into hard working, intelligent adults. I think it is great that we put forth all this effort in accomplishing all these pre-school and home school goals. I think it's good to stay busy, but sometimes a nd now I dare think most days , we c...