Mr & Mrs Smith

I wanted to write a little bit about us wrapping up year 4 with Lexi in case it takes me a little bit longer to catch up once the baby comes... Lexi had her 5 year doc apt already so that she could finalize her shots for school. We submitted the registration paperwork and now just wait for orientation mid-April. She will do great; I know she'll thrive and it's really only 3 hours so I think it'll be perfect. She is doing great with sight words and trying to sound things out to read. There are still some struggle sounds like "r" that she says the "w" sound for, but I know she'll get there quick enough. The rules of English are horrible but she is great with repetition. Although when it comes to her online pre-k program, she really just gets through the reading & math so that she can play the games. Learning through play is a good thing.  I'm excited to see her learn & grow even more. I'm mostly excited for her to be around mor...

The latest is that February flew by in a very mundane way. We have been home more than not which is hard on me & the kids, but we're making it work. Part of that was due to our minivan being in the shop (but it has also been really cold, even snowed a good bit). We have only paid for a transmission fluid flush at this point; I dropped it off yesterday for a second transmission opinion so we're just waiting. Always waiting and lately it has been for bad financial news. But what's a car in terms of heaven.  Life is expensive & there is always something. But it has been frustrating nonetheless to want a dependable minivan for the 3rd child and dealing with this before she even comes.  I'm just very frustrated if all this drama was due to a missing dipstick that has been missing since we bought the vehicle. The question is if the transmission will go, is it worth the other quoted RARE mechanics eventually needed as well as the regular stuff. It's hard to in...

For me, "negative" or "positive" emotions have never really existed. Perhaps they should, but I do think happy people feel both. I understand where we are encouraged to show gratitude & hope, but those things only come from feeling the pains of ordinary life. It all works together, the good & the bad, to help us grow. You should know I'm growing. But there are negative people in the world, those who never choose to accept that ordinary life is a gift no matter what the day brings. There are those who refuse to accept the flaws of others or that we live in a fallen world full of imperfect people trying to do their best. And even still, we can only choose how we act & react. I will get frustrated when I'm frustrated, but I will own it & I will fight the urge to linger in it. Because of a quote that has stayed with me, "it's not a sin to get discouraged, it's a sin to linger in discouragement" & maybe I should add "by...

I'm not sure what unhappy feelings feels like on an unborn, but I already feel bad for this child.  So many minutes in a day my kids are adorable, and we are gliding by & they are laughing. Two seconds later & they are screaming like someone chopped their arm off.  I wouldn't know when an ER visit is imminent because those lungs have already given me PTSD over nothing. Yeah, let's add potty training to emotional children & again, I feel bad for the unborn, and my brain. It takes a lot of energy to fuss too. I'm so drained & I hate that.  But their screaming has to stop. I'm pretty sure Lexi taught Dallin how to do it when they are excited and frustrated. I'm supposed to be calm, but firm back? Lexi already cannot hear. Literally, she is deaf to any sort of instruction or request. That will literally be her biggest challenge in school - how to follow instructions.  But make her a promise about a treat or let her retell a story from TV and apparen...

I guess I wanted to make January monumental & slowly recover from PTSD for the rest of my life. I decided to potty train Dallin at 22 months. Gammi already got us the cars underwear & potty seat. "Guys potty training is so draining! BUT after I talked to several close friends about their success at a younger age following Lexi, it stayed on my mind. Even the 3-day training that was such a success with Lexi said 22 months was ideal. But he is a BOY & everyone likes to say they are harder. I dread this more than nursing! Due to my feelings about Dallin who SEEMed ready according to all those who say "what really matters" (interested, randomly taking off diapers, hardly wet at night, able to communicate) & the timing of a new baby, I thought I'd give it a shot. I keep telling myself it'll be nice to avoid 2 in diapers or training while I'm nursing &or doing school drop-offs. It's now or 6 months from now. What could possible go wr...

Our last lesson in Sunday School in 2017 surrounded the concept of mental illness in the context of how, as parents, do we handle this issue in our families. Most seem to agree that mental illness has gotten more prevelant over the years & connect that to the effects of technology, which was the topic of the last 5th Sunday lesson. I didn't have any strong thoughts to share then, but as I pondered it a bit more, I feel like I do have something to offer parents of teenagers, and I think in turn I have to take those suggestions and apply them now with even my littles. Wherever we are in life, there is a roll you can play to be an influence for good. Understanding mental illness is good for everyone, and learning how to assist where possible is essential too. 1. Parents need to be more open. Not about everything, but I remember wanting to feel like an adult in the sense that my thoughts or feelings were trusted & valued. There are things parents can do to widen the door ...

Christmas is an exciting time for new things, new gifts & treats. It's fun to think about giving gifts to our children or receiving some ourselves. I know some people love this opportunity, but I'm not in love with the gifts per say. I do love the idea of giving of course, and seeing our children get excited over something new. But it gives me anxiety to give, wanting to give something that is valued. I have the same issue with receiving, I want it to be worth that person's cost. Mr Smith may tell you I still love receiving packages. I mean even if you bought it, who doesn't love getting them, but sometimes it can become too much. Perhaps I just don't have the gift of gift giving. My kids still don't know what to ask for & are only starting to show interest in particular things. I have a hard time at this age too because gratitude doesn't always come naturally & I despise nothing more than not appreciating a gift. I may sound like a hypocrit...

Hello Family & Friends! As this year comes to a close, I wanted to reach out to you & let you know how grateful I am for your support & love over the years. And although Mr Smith may never say those words aloud, I know he appreciates you too =) If anything, it's those who keep me grounded & sane that he couldn't thank more. 2017 has been a  special  year of waiting & changing. We're very grateful for our many blessings. I appreciate the inspiration a friend gave me to put this pdf together to reflect on the blessings from this year (& moments of growth). We are still adjusting to Boise, but Eric is enjoying his new work atmosphere and has received strong confirmation that Boise is home. I'm sure my confirmation will come in time, ha! I am only working around 10 hours a week remotely now. Baby is doing well. As far as nausea goes, this has been my best pregnancy.  Lexi & Dallin have grown so much & it's a cherished gift to...

It was definitely a great visit when we got to see this wiggly little baby & find out Lexi is going to have a SISTER! Mr Smith was wishing for a boy mostly because Lexi & I were really hoping for a GIRL! I'm so excited to go back through all the little girl things again; I was not ready to go back through little boy stuff so quickly. Dallin will do well to be smooshed between all this estrogen. They also confirmed that I was measuring 2 weeks behind when based off the last period date, but since I told them I'm not average & that I KNEW I was two weeks later, then all is well. April 22 is the due date for this bundle of joy! In all honestly, April is a really great month to have a baby even if the girls hate sharing it later on. And our deductible resets April 1st so I'm glad it's after that! Outside of some mental exhaustion, indigestion, weight gain in the booty (I'm already 15lbs heavier, yikes!), gas, some acne & typical aches & pains, a...

I guess it's still fall, but it feels like the freakin winter. The one where your bones freeze. And it hasn't even snowed yet. But I love Idaho! Everyone says this, so I even accepted it and made the sign that says Idaho is home. It's "resting" in my home in Idaho (because we haven't hung a single thing on the walls). I've accepted this. I'm embracing it. Because Mr Smith tells me NOW that he got a very clear answer that "this is home". I guess I just need to work on being inspired in the same way. Or maybe it'll come to me differently. We are different people after all. But I'm also still the biggest skeptic in life sometimes. I just feel like I can't be immune from anything. Maybe that's humility, I'm not sure. But it would be nice to find a place that feels like home #lifegoals I haven't had much photo inspiration as of late. There was a beautiful three week period of orange and yellow leaves that I complet...

Another pumpkin joining this crazy patch in 6 months! Another April baby! (and I hope it's another girl too; only Dad wants the boy). I feel a little overwhelmed already, but it's always exciting to picture snuggling a baby. I just pray this one is either chill or at least likes sleep!  I feel like this has been my best 1st trimester. Although I've felt nauseous & exhausted, the straight nausea only lasted a few weeks and then I'd just get highs & lows. I only threw up some cheese grits. And I think Mr Smith has cleaned more pots these last few weeks than the last 6 years combined... Now, the nausea is basically gone. I just have some food aversions to the smell of peanut butter & Little Caesars pizza. I haven't done much these last 6 weeks outside of move (we found out we were pregnant the weekend before). Hopefully we'll start to get out a little more now! We started enjoying some October festivities at Farmfest, a nearby pumpkin patc...