Skip to main content

One Nap

By
Sorry I lied about blogging over the weekend. I prefer to write my thoughts more than speak them, but I guess even that took a back seat to my laziness or maybe I'm just getting even more private. Or maybe I just text things to my local bff and blow up Mr Smith's phone in that way he loves. He puts it on silent just for me.

But really I've just been keeping my anxiety to myself. But my head is spinning and I'm not sure what coherent thoughts or solutions are being produced, if any; a lot a bit of nothing keeps me up a little later. I've decided my anxiety stems from my inability to be satisfied with my work and move on from self-perceived follies. However, sometimes I notice how Lexi gets anxious and I wonder if it's something I'm doing wrong as a parent. I don't want my anxiety whispering nonsense to her. 

This week is supposed to be gloomy nonstop. There is a chance of rain at any given moment. I think that's awful. But in reality, it's cooler and therefore tolerable to even venture outside. It just ruined a fun photoshoot I had planned with a couple of my Laurels to begin advertising for Senior portraits. I'll be in FL all next week for a wedding and some play. I'll be excited once I get there. Although my childhood home is basically empty and a few friends decided to ditch town. I think Lexi will enjoy a week with the grandparents, friends who might as well be aunts, and the rest of my family who have hardly seen her but love her. And then there is the beach; I'm excited I finally get to lay out in the sun since I swear even the wooded poor take a beach vacation. Although I doubt I'll have any opportunity to sit still with Lexi. I dare you to put a cat in a box.


Also, we are now officially a one nap woman. 




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And so it begins, again

By
At what point do you ... 1. Keep holding on waiting for inspiration to come 2. Try something different 3. Let go & walk away I'd say most of us are usually somewhere in between #1 & #2, but there are occasional moments where I find myself locked into another Jane Austin film with some oreos & milk ignoring reality all together.  Today, I'm trying to rise above some level of complacency & clear my mind at your expense. Mr Smith & I had a good run of it, but since blogs became obsolete in 2017 while Instragram chained us all to algorithms, I had no audience nor desire to write in this world. But times change, after it murders our souls, and alas we are famished for an authentic keyboard with less distractions again. So, let's catch up. They say it comes in threes... Since our job change in 2017, we experienced three more moves, three additional job changes (that don't necessarily align with the moves), and three additional children.  2018-2022 were ver...
3 comments
Read more

Breaking Silence for Religion

By
I've never been good at being concise. I like words too much. I think outloud. And I haven't had time to blog all these conversations & posts & mental thoughts and it's eating at me to write it all down, to get it out there. These are some words that no one understands anymore: love, tolerance, faith, forgiveness, covenants, judgment, respect, moderation, self-worth, humility, equality...at least if they say they do, I wouldn't believe them. In truth, I think we should be forever understanding what these words mean. Yet I hear people affirming over & over again in their actions & with their voice that they want to be right and they want you to know it & accept the choices they're making. So much for democracy & freedom. They might say "to each his own" but I'm not idealistic anymore, people don't really believe that.  I reference "the world" a lot. Let's clarify what I mean. We can start with Holly...
Post a Comment
Read more

Will We Seek Jesus?

By
God expects us to hold happiness and sorrow at the same time. It’s a beautiful contrary that many of us struggle to understand, but it’s really key to understanding our purpose on earth. We can easily find ourselves in a battle of emotions if we can’t accept that both can exist at the same time; we will falsely accuse ourselves or others as either ungrateful & weak, or overly strong & fake. Perhaps a lot of it is how we speak to the struggle.  Our main purpose is to experience heartache & frustration (one side of the coin), but to overcome it through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which provides everlasting joy (the other side of the coin). In order to really value the Atonement of Jesus Christ, many of us are humbled by the feeling of hopelessness. We will all experience some level of loss & acute awareness of our own weaknesses, usually when things start to feel out of our control. But what does holding both sorrow & joy look like? That is a quest...
2 comments
Read more