Mental Illness in 2017

Our last lesson in Sunday School in 2017 surrounded the concept of mental illness in the context of how, as parents, do we handle this issue in our families. Most seem to agree that mental illness has gotten more prevelant over the years & connect that to the effects of technology, which was the topic of the last 5th Sunday lesson. I didn't have any strong thoughts to share then, but as I pondered it a bit more, I feel like I do have something to offer parents of teenagers, and I think in turn I have to take those suggestions and apply them now with even my littles. Wherever we are in life, there is a roll you can play to be an influence for good. Understanding mental illness is good for everyone, and learning how to assist where possible is essential too.

1. Parents need to be more open. Not about everything, but I remember wanting to feel like an adult in the sense that my thoughts or feelings were trusted & valued. There are things parents can do to widen the door instead of close kids off. I think our natural instinct is to form the bubble, but we have to remove that mindset and realize our children are probably stronger than we are, or we can at least help them become so and that's a good thing. I believe one of the key things to attempt is more open dialogue. Parents create this facade with children that they know everything, when nothing can be further from the truth. Parents make mistakes. Parents ask questions. Parents need advice. We can show our kids how to repent, where to go for accurate information (who to trust) & be humble.  It's good to show them the struggle is natural and ok, at least when our goal is improvement. Find ways they can assist & serve you too. I think helping our children learn empathy opens doors instead of creating frustration, which closes them.  All of a sudden they leave the nest and we then feel like we can share all of our insecurities, when at that point, emotional damage is already done & challenging to come back from. Many kids leave home to make their own life and confront challenges & think something is wrong because there are real struggles that they don't know how to cope with. Keep the conversation open & real. 

2. Limit media. This is obvious for many, but hard to do at times. Our kids live in a tech world and that's ok. It's a fact. They should learn how to use it appropriately & understand sooner than later that limits are needed for a reason. Parents have to find a new way to teach delayed gratification. Parents have to teach discipline from addictions. It's now easier than ever to expect instant everything & enjoy mind numbing addictions through media. This is the challenge of our day, but we have to be willing fight it every day. Set expectations and kids will eventually thrive with them. Sometimes it's a matter of starting without ourselves. We can't live through the media. It will make us socially ill. 

3. Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Especially when things feel overwhelming. I think we can notice when things just seem off and we should be quick to act on those impressions whether for ourselves or those we love. I think a little bit of therapy is good for everyone & I think it's a good move for health insurance policies to move that way. I wish there was more information about where to turn. There is no shame in needing additional assistance. I think medication is always discouraging, but sometimes essential & we have to be willing to listen to expert advice from someone we can trust. We need to remove any stigma around therapy or medical treatment for mental illness. Some people really do suffer from psychological imbalances & science is a gift in many ways that we shouldn't ignore out of pride. That doesn't mean we should ignore the sage old wisdom of "mind over matter" or the effects of spiritual health either. I think many aspects work together to help us become our best selves. 

4. Listen more than talk. The real struggle is how to really love those who think differently than us. We want so bad to relate or understand or be understood, but sometimes we just have to accept that we may never fully understand someone else. We don't always have to solve the problem, or the problem we think exists. Sometimes the problem is that someone just needs to be heard & loved. The heart of service is this very concept. 

I am not in any way expert on mental health. I've often had a hard time understanding how people can view the same conversation so differently, but over the years I've come to see it as a very real struggle for many in my circle.  I know certain personalities run more on emotions than logic & everyone has various mental struggles that we want to overcome. There is a certain level of anxiety that makes us human, but various experiences or natural inclinations can exacerbate that anxiety to the point of malfunction. We need to be more aware and we need to know how to best assist. Keep the conversation open & real. Chronic depression is real & hurts and it's a challenge for anyone on the outside to understand. 

Loving people who think differently is something we can all get better at. Love does have the power to build trust, allow for humor & is a great way to allow the spirit of Christ to come into our lives and we know He truly is the One that can heal us all. We just have to be patient.