Mr & Mrs Smith

Alexis Jane Smith 04.27.13 - 5:16PM 8lbs 15oz - 22.5 inches brown hair, undetermined (blue) eyes NB clothes are too tight You hate diaper changes You love being swaddled You are a piranha for food Your skin is perfect You sleep better with noises You came out sucking on your fingers But luckily you're not a scratcher Basically, we think you're perfect. First day at home photo Dear Lexi,  We couldn't handle holding you inside my stomach for another minute. We made an appointment when the contractions never came. Things were changing, but you were still 7 days late. Maybe we were eager parents, but now that we have you in our arms, we understand why, really understand. You're amazing . By the time we showed up at your 6 AM hospital appointment to be induced, I was already 3.5 cm dilated & 90% effaced & having mild contractions. So mild I thought I might have had high pain tolerance because I didn't feel th...

It's the little things. Today , I'm choosing to be emotionally unstable . And it's only 10 AM

So I got the membranes stripped. It's kinda just like a more intense cervix check. A grueling 45 seconds for sure, but we women get desperate.  And we'll take anything that could encourage things along. She said if I were to get induced, I wouldn't need the pill that thins you out. She thinks I have a good chance of my water breaking as I am 90% effaced. But I also don't want to depend on petocin to get the ball rolling. You're moving so much, just move out! Come on contractions . . . any minute now .  I have a Thursday morning appointment for the NST test, which if anything I'll take seeing you in black & white BUT COLOR WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER.

He had our bags & the car seat by the front door when labor seemed hopeful. He bought me a pineapple from Costco reading how it would help induce. He vacuumed your floors & took me for walks. He took me to Target & stood by me in the maternity bra section. He then started pointing to every baby boy outfit asking me if it was for a boy or a girl. & he wanted the sports mobile. If you're a girly girl, the debate of nature vs nurture will be solved. He hugs me when I'm emotional for no reason. He tells me I'm beautiful when I whine about the stretch marks. And every time you kick me, he still gets excited to feel you even if it's no longer novel.  He's excited for you baby girl. Every night we get a little more hopeful. 

I don't feel like doing anything, but having a baby right now.  Where are you beautiful , baby girl? And unfortunately, I don't have much control over that. I've tried the pineapple, the walking & the other thing, but I feel I must just wait. Luckily, my trips to the bathroom just started tripling the last week. My sleep is disturbed now, but at least I got most the way before this annoyance. So I sleep on & off and then nap on & off. I don't want to cook, but I still want to eat. The predicament of my life . I'm bored. And petrified that I will be at home now & forced to stay intellectually active by my own free will. I'm not super creative, but maybe the situation will make me pick up new hobbies & create new talents. At least moving & trying to keep a baby alive for the first month will keep me slightly active. My coworkers were awesome & bought me a surprise baby gift - the ERGO baby carrier. I'm super stoked ...

Not the most comfortable thing in the world, to say the least. 80% effaced (thinned), 3 cm dilated & I was definitely violated.   But all in all, I will take my false hope & run with it. At least it's progressing & that feels somewhat satisfying. She says she's typically pretty conservative as well. Week 40 is right around the corner. doc/midwife: "I could stick 2 fingers" Me: "Oh wow" Me to myself: "it felt like your entire freakin fist" I opted out of the "do you want me to strip your membranes" procedure which she said would put me into labor within 48 hours. My response "sounds like it hurts" Midwife "oh it does" My response "we'll wait & see; pass for now" Because really, it's all a game of "wait & see" Me: so I could go into labor tomorrow or a week from now the doc/midwife: "correct, or any minute"  Me: great. ...

I've never had more anxiety in my life than I do right now. Don't worry, this only affects my sleep; I'm not emotionally or mentally unstable, yet. Well, Mr Smith may get what few break downs occur mostly due to hunger and said sleep deprivation. Every hour counts, but it's so hard to fall asleep! Exactly one week before the due date & all I can think is, contractions could start at any moment. And so I don't ever feel like I fall into deep sleep. Nothing can be more aggravating, especially the tossing & turning. Only people who have been at 39 weeks understand the awkwardness of the toss & turn. No way can you do it still sleeping, and most times, it's painful cause your abs & pelvic muscles that allow you to do so no longer exist . But regardless of all of this, the anxiety is more excitement than anything. I still have a slight fear things won't go well, or it'll be harder than I expect, but you really can't let yourself go there...

Oh man it's steaming. I know I'm the oven these days, but 80 degrees! Full priority to turn on the a/c, Mr Smith. Speaking of Mr Smith, as most of you now know due to Facebook-shares-all, Mr Smith is getting a root canal! Mr Smith had some old fillings crack out at the beginning of the year & one fix didn't quite cut it. So now he's on drugs until tomorrow when he'll be placed on more drugs & get the nerves zapped from a molar. Yes, he is wracking up the dental bill this year folks. But I can't stand to see Mr Smith in pain. He became addicted to google-my-problem & just couldn't sit still, eat, or socialize like the normal butterfuly he is. I'm glad to say Monday couldn't have come sooner.  And to think, a lot of people can't even afford to visit the dentist & probably just live with toothaches & pains day in & day out. If Mr Smith can't handle it, I don't know who can. For real. But this past weekend was...

Waiting. What an interesting concept. We wait in lines. We wait in traffic. We wait our turn.  It's something we learn from our toddler years. Well, some of the kids learn .  I waited until I was 16, then 18, then 21. Then I wanted out in a different way.  And I waited & waited for graduation, for the big move, for change We grow up and we're definitely still waiting more and more. Patience.  We wait for our big break. We wait for our career path to make sense, for doors to open. We wait for the dating game to end. We wait for our children to come and that big move. We wait to finally be recognized & appreciated. Once you know it's going to happen, it's hard to sit still. Once you know you can create change, you don't want to wait for it to happen. And sometimes we just wait on hope. And then here is the hairy part. We can create change, but that doesn't mean we get everything we want when we want it. And that's hard, but fair. W...