Anxiety Attack

Waiting.

What an interesting concept. We wait in lines. We wait in traffic. We wait our turn. 

It's something we learn from our toddler years. Well, some of the kids learn. 

I waited until I was 16, then 18, then 21. Then I wanted out in a different way. 

And I waited & waited for graduation, for the big move, for change

We grow up and we're definitely still waiting more and more. Patience. 

We wait for our big break. We wait for our career path to make sense, for doors to open.

We wait for the dating game to end. We wait for our children to come and that big move. We wait to finally be recognized & appreciated. Once you know it's going to happen, it's hard to sit still. Once you know you can create change, you don't want to wait for it to happen. And sometimes we just wait on hope.

And then here is the hairy part. We can create change, but that doesn't mean we get everything we want when we want it. And that's hard, but fair. We know deep down inside that God created the world & time & things to come according to His plan. So we wait & we're patient. That hairy part is not focusing on the waiting. The hairy part is appreciating where we are, with who we are knowing that we'll change a little every day & that by faith & righteous living, everything will work out in the end. "everything will work out in the end" - you probably hate that phrase just as much as I do.

You'd think we would be a pro by now, why with all this waiting we're used to. You think we'd be so patient, because this is how it is. Most things don't come when we want it (maybe that's why girls love shopping so much). But when they do come, when we do take a step into the dark & push ourselves to the very tipping point, we're saved.  Whether or not we recognize it is a different story. 

I don't like waiting to have this baby. But I also didn't like waiting for the dating game to end & for the career path to make sense. But lose ends were tied, little by little. My world came together. There is always something else to anticipate. Always. It's such a hard lesson for me to learn - waiting. Waiting until the time is right. Am I prepared? Am I using today wisely? Am I ready or am I just waiting thinking I'm ready?