We Might Not Know It OR We Might Know Just Enough

You might not know it, but there has definitely been stress up in this house this...i don't know entire year thus far. We're hoping for changes soon BUT UNTIL THEN we at least got AC installed for the summer instead of a swamp cooler. That's a bright side, right? We've officially labeled myself as someone with anxiety. For the most part I keep it at bay (don't talk to Mr Smith), but life has it's way of shaking up our comfort zones from time to time.

I'm hoping our allergies die down some. I know that's a lot to ask for in Spring. And I need to make a new doc apt... I'm just not sure on timing. But I haven't started my period and am, therefore, concerned. I still want to bear children in the near future. I do not want cancer. I thought I had my thyroid issue all figured out BUT MAYBE we can just blame all this on that! Except I was fine 6 months post-partum and I take "them pills"consistently. I hate the unknown. take away a little of my control as well and CUE ANXIETY. I'm not just talking about my overall health, but that's an example.

Plus all these other people with cancer or a track record for hating all things vaccinations or chemicals or food lacking in nutrients and I feel like I'm swimming in a pool of hopelessness. HOW WILL WE EVER SURVIVE OR MAKE SENSE OF THE WORLD. or at least get my family to eat vegetables. We might not. Not until the end. What a glorious day when all things will be brought to remembrance. HOPEFULLY all my terrible words of a crazed mother will be repented of because I really would not like to have those haunt me for eternity. The point is people, I'm definitely in need of the love of my Savior, His Atonement & forgiveness. I need His hope, His strength & His perspective.

Cause sometimes my perspective sucks. hahahahaha. Ok, I'm teaching a lesson tomorrow at church on Faith. It's not ironic.

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And so it begins, again

At what point do you ... 1. Keep holding on waiting for inspiration to come 2. Try something different 3. Let go & walk away I'd say most of us are usually somewhere in between #1 & #2, but there are occasional moments where I find myself locked into another Jane Austin film with some oreos & milk ignoring reality all together. Today, I'm trying to rise above some level of complacency & clear my mind at your expense. Mr Smith & I had a good run of it, but since blogs became obsolete in 2017 while Instragram chained us all to algorithms, I had no audience nor desire to write in this world. But times change, after it murders our souls, and alas we are famished for an authentic keyboard with less distractions again. So, let's catch up. They say it comes in threes... Since our job change in 2017, we experienced three more moves, three additional job changes (that don't necessarily align with the moves), and three additional children. 2018-2022 were ver...

Breaking Silence for Religion

I've never been good at being concise. I like words too much. I think outloud. And I haven't had time to blog all these conversations & posts & mental thoughts and it's eating at me to write it all down, to get it out there. These are some words that no one understands anymore: love, tolerance, faith, forgiveness, covenants, judgment, respect, moderation, self-worth, humility, equality...at least if they say they do, I wouldn't believe them. In truth, I think we should be forever understanding what these words mean. Yet I hear people affirming over & over again in their actions & with their voice that they want to be right and they want you to know it & accept the choices they're making. So much for democracy & freedom. They might say "to each his own" but I'm not idealistic anymore, people don't really believe that. I reference "the world" a lot. Let's clarify what I mean. We can start with Holly...

We're patiently waiting

Picture Mr Smith putting together the pack-n-play. He was so cute. Mostly when he had to read the directions. Do we have a child? Don't ask such silly questions. Hopefully it won't collect too much dust in 5.5 months. We're ready now . . . (but not really) It has a changing thing and a removable bassinet that vibrates. I'm okay with not needing a changing table. It will probably mean we won't get a crib for awhile too. Next we need to hear from our baby/exercise friends a good car seat & jogging stroller (maybe ones that work together)... Any favorites? Then a blanket . . . Then a breast pump . . . Then a diaper bag. . . Then lots of diapers, toys & cute clothes. And even a mobile. Then they get older and there's even more things. Mr Smith is just so thrilled. I'd love to hear about any products that you recommend/absolutely love having. Here is one thing you can do to annoy Mr Smith: go ...

Mr & Mrs Smith

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