Hello World.

Updates on my children are the only reason I seem to blog these days. It's so hard to sit down at the computer un-accosted let alone with enough energy to really express what goes through my mind in a day or week. I hate that I don't make time for it anymore. Even now, I have a tyrant 3 year old repeating "I want to do what I want to do." Seriously, children give you the best perspective ourselves because I know Heavenly Father has heard all this from me too.  I get so frustrated as a parent trying to be patient and teach "basic" principles that sum up to how to teach your children to be kind people and it's excruciating at times. And I'm not going to lie, both of us have said "because I said so" at some point in time. Just listen you freakin insolent child or you'll die or at least suffer a very painful life.

So yeah. Obey or die. I'm trying not to mirror the bipolar behavior, but my gosh controlling emotions, i.e. using our words when all you want to do is scream or trying to tell your child to be patient when you're clearly not... it's rough. We have lots of good, cute, patient moments too, don't worry. It's just funny trying to deal with all the mental craziness that goes on with children. And knowing Heavenly Father is a perfect parent... I'm grateful to know he isn't screaming at me on the other end or rolling his eyes or making sure I really know what a poor choice that was.  Good parenting with human nature has a steep learning curve. That is all. 

A LOT has been happening in the world apart from us just trying to rear our children to be good people. I can't say these things have been good... most of the global news has us realizing that America was blessed because it is a God fearing nation that believes in divinity and was set apart to be an ensign as a free world, but I think we can easily see social norms separating from God and, therefore, even America is beginning to struggle with itself. And certainly, it doesn't help that Trump is President and I don't say that because the democrats had a better option. The fact that we did NOT have a good presidential option is telling. I don't believe he is inherently evil like the left side is screaming, but I was still disappointed when his rhetoric didn't change overnight. Most of us are putting a lot of faith in the checks and balances, hoping something conservative comes from this and that other world leaders are patient with us.

It's just tragic that we have story after story of millions of refugees struggling simply to stay alive due to the violence in the middle east. I cannot even comprehend the travesty that Syria has become. The regime now supported by Russia (who let that happen?) fighting the rebels we encouraged, but somehow we underestimated the ability of ISIS to take over the Muslim world, people so extreme and evil i.just.don't.get.it. And I think it's because they are just that evil, you cannot afford to spend too much time trying to understand. Some fled, some stayed, but all of their families are at high risk to live in poverty for the rest of their lives, with little hope to contribute back to a normal society. Death is knocking on their door and we aren't giving them a way out. It's crushing. I completely understand wanting to protect my children, but there must be a balance we can afford sooner than later. I don't want to be the side that just watches suffering, but that's what it feels like. I'm blessed to be part of a church organization that gives back in a way I trust, and I just have a hope that someone smarter than me is able to comfort those in need & we cannot physically have with us. 

So when I think my earthy worries keep me busy, I quickly realize I need to be more humble and grateful. I may think my life is uncomfortable, but I truly have no idea. We get to laugh and play most days. My children have no concept of war or real hardship disregarding the drama she sometimes creates.  I'm grateful to be an American woman. Women have a harder time with validity, but we're here, capable, supportive, intuitive, strong & I'm just grateful to know that. We don't have to be perfect, but we want to be and that makes all the difference! All of us are here with the same purpose, to gain the confidence to stand back in the presence of our Heavenly Father & Savior, knowing we willingly took part in the Atonement. We make mistakes, and it's okay. Our goal should always be to overcome them, control our reactions and build in us the character of Christ.

Someone said something that has been helping me handle some stress in my life: We work to pay for those things too, the mistakes. We may not like it, but they are part of our life. Temporally & spiritually, us & the Lord are working together.