Skip to main content

Being A Mother


My Mother's Day photo.


An extra kid just makes story time extra squishy. I love it when he just falls asleep in my lap and Ms Lexi insists on story after story. The way they lay their head on your shoulder or fall asleep in your arms. The way they grab your hand or kiss your cheek. I want to remember those touches forever, even in the moments when they waller and climb and step and pinch. I want to remember the babbles and the coos. They are so little now, but I know it'll only be a matter of time before they are memories.

I'm certainly a struggling mother who wants to do right by her kids and husband. I want them to know how loved every inch of their being is. Every day I have to work on being more patient and kind, temperate and loving. Taking the calm breath isn't easy especially by the end of the day. But they are only so little for so long. They are learning. And it is SO fun to see how much they learn.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who try and keep trying.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

And so it begins, again

At what point do you ... 1. Keep holding on waiting for inspiration to come 2. Try something different 3. Let go & walk away I'd say most of us are usually somewhere in between #1 & #2, but there are occasional moments where I find myself locked into another Jane Austin film with some oreos & milk ignoring reality all together.  Today, I'm trying to rise above some level of complacency & clear my mind at your expense. Mr Smith & I had a good run of it, but since blogs became obsolete in 2017 while Instragram chained us all to algorithms, I had no audience nor desire to write in this world. But times change, after it murders our souls, and alas we are famished for an authentic keyboard with less distractions again. So, let's catch up. They say it comes in threes... Since our job change in 2017, we experienced three more moves, three additional job changes (that don't necessarily align with the moves), and three additional children.  2018-2022 were ver...

To Live is to Change

I love change. I love variety. I love mixing things up just because I can. It's helpful, but it's kind of a double edged sword.  I'm terrible at consistency, even though Clifton Strengthfinder told me that was my #5 strength (I think they meant something closer to wanting things fair & equitable which isn't wrong). I not only move furniture in & out of my life, or make sure we don't eat the same thing too often... but I love that I can give my kids a flexible education. God knew this is something I would love & has allowed for it even when it comes with significant sacrifices (as many good things do). This has been a beautiful way to grow me over the last 4 years, and I definitely missed it, but I also started to doubt ever doing it again, which felt odd. I found myself questioning why I wanted to take the harder course. I had a little break with just E & M at home, but now B is back too, so I'm giving up some me time (I was never good at it any ...

Breaking Silence for Religion

I've never been good at being concise. I like words too much. I think outloud. And I haven't had time to blog all these conversations & posts & mental thoughts and it's eating at me to write it all down, to get it out there. These are some words that no one understands anymore: love, tolerance, faith, forgiveness, covenants, judgment, respect, moderation, self-worth, humility, equality...at least if they say they do, I wouldn't believe them. In truth, I think we should be forever understanding what these words mean. Yet I hear people affirming over & over again in their actions & with their voice that they want to be right and they want you to know it & accept the choices they're making. So much for democracy & freedom. They might say "to each his own" but I'm not idealistic anymore, people don't really believe that.  I reference "the world" a lot. Let's clarify what I mean. We can start with Holly...