I've been really anxious to know if this round will be with another girl or a new experience of a little boy. We really wanted a boy with Lexi, but of course fell in love with having a girl, even if she is a tough one. We wanted the next child to keep up with her and so we were really hoping a boy was on the radar, plus less anxiety down the road once you have one of each! And it spices things up in the family. Gender is such an interesting concept, yet I know it is divine as well as our place within the family. God knows best. And I guess I'm just excited by what God thinks is best for our little family.
I was anxious enough to do a gender ultrasound at 16-17 weeks instead of waiting until 20 weeks, especially since I never did a 12 week ultrasound so I really want to "see" him so that it became more real. Let me tell you it is always SO cool to see them. I'm so excited to see more at week 20 and make sure that heart is functioning like it should and that he is developing normally. I still hope this is my only anxious pregnancy. Motherhood comes with constant anxiety, but it's a comfort to be normal in this situation and have I told you I hate surprises? But such is life. He looks fantastic so far.
We decided we would try to surprise everyone at once. I don't remember telling family with Lexi but we probably just skyped because we were so far. This time I decided it would be more fun to mail my mom the surprise ultrasound. She thought it was just a picture from Lexi, so when it said wait until both of them were together to skype Lexi, they did =) And I love that my mom can dream with me now. She was so excited. They opened it a couple hours before the scheduled reveal for everyone here. We invited everyone over for dessert night (we had yet to invite everyone over just to hang out). Sadly Troy and Grandpa Smith couldn't make it, but everyone else found out as Lexi took her... 5th bite? It looks like we surprised everyone who didn't realize we already knew and now I'm just glad to have something to dream about.
Of course I came down with a head cold / sinus issue the night of and so I felt pretty miserable all weekend even though I could relax with conference. I'm not sure why I ever had dreams of me getting dressed up to be involved in a picture (esp when I realized Mr Smith wouldn't), so then I focused on just getting Lexi dressed and writing it up on the chalkboard for the backyard. Even with the rainy weather, I love this spot in the backyard and how cute Lexi tolerated a mini session.
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| too lazy to make the 2016 photoshop look realistic |
I mean she is simply adorable! The conference talk from Elder Holland touched all mothers I'm sure, but it was simply divine! I love that he phrased my most inner thoughts when he basically said no other love in mortality comes closer to the love of Jesus Christ than the love the mother has for her child. But in more detail, there is this massive sacrifice that comes the day you choose to be a parent. It completely rocks your boat and you have part understanding until you are one. And it's the best sacrifice you could ever, ever make. Sometimes we focus on the sacrifices, just as a way to feel normal, mourn together, laugh together, but we fail their adorable spirits if we forget to express how much they complete our lives. When we were first married I knew the greatest value and purpose to my life would be motherhood. Is it more complicated? absolutely! But there is no greater reason to live and be my best self than to be a mother for our kids. I mean truly, if looks could kill . . .
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