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I'm Losing My Mind

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Today I realized the fridge is not functioning, but that was after two days of partly warm milk in my cereal and I didn't even catch on. I mean I'm just not sure I trust myself anymore. And maybe Mr Smith was right and I'm losing my mind. We knew the freezer was acting a fool and I was blamed for shoving too much into an already tiny freezer. But really who puts vents in a freezer at the very bottom!?! Ugh. So instead of grocery shopping today, we're already onto Plan B. Actually, I'm pretty sure that was plan X, but whatever. I would have said Y, but locking my keys in the car while in the parking lot definitely makes the cut for Y. Why would I lay them next to the car seat instead of in my pockets? I don't know. Yes, it's official, I'm losing my mind.

I think Plan Z would have been locking my child in the car too. I did NOT do that. Luckily we have a spare house key to get to the spare car key and my brother saved us. And instead of buying $20 in groceries, I bought ice and granola bars.

I thought about how a great mom would just solve her own problems and not bother the dutiful dad at work, but immediately I call to inform him of the problem, not a resolution, just in panic about the problem. Later I realized if I want to be an awesome mom, I'm going to have to just take care of things on my own, real things, the things I wouldn't choose to handle ever by just solving the problem on my own.  Like googling anything about fixing refrigerators and moving it from tight spaces to unplug it etc... I'm totally that whiney wife who is all "honey, this will be waiting for you when you get home". 

I'm grateful that I'm in a relationship where I can delegate. I know he appreciates it. But in all honesty, I do a lot of other great, supportive things that are overlooked so it's okay. 

UPDATE: not on the fridge, but on the sleeping situation. (now that I think about it, I might place some of this lost mind on my irregular sleep), the crib wall is back up. No more big girl bed. She still cried out multiple times in the night. We might be reverting back to the ear plug days, but man, I'm doing what it takes to feel alive again.

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