Can I tell you why women need other women? Why, when you get married you may THINK you only need your wonderful best friend of a husband? But even if you were that kind of newly wed, there will be a day that comes, for your own mental and emotional sanity (and his), where you realize why you need a friend. More than your child who can barely piece together a coherent sentence.
And not just any friend. A best friend that doesn't call child services when you threaten your child's life. Where you can say things like I'm running away today and they just laugh and say "where are we going?" These are friends that leave voicemails you actually listen to. These are friends that don't require makeup. They get waaaay too many texts along with everything TMI. You actually answer the "how are you doing" question truthfully or you skip it all together. Most everything is brutally honest. Most things are up for grabs because you know at the end of the day, they know where your heart is. You can talk about your children, your husband, your mothers and they know you're just blowing off steam. They know how to listen and laugh with you. And you don't have to wait for them to ask the question first. Gosh I love when people just talk, unpermittedly. It's just life. And everyone experiences the highs and lows in their own way. And we can enjoy all of those moments better when you spend it with people who don't judge your ways or insult your ways, as if there was only one way (sigh to those who think they do things so much better)! They may offer suggestions or request a mutual effort (mostly with repeated offenses), but it's never about "why" and always about "yep, that happened." You don't cry to a friend who insists on solving your woes of life. They know you can handle it, but they don't make you handle it alone.
Because if you whine to your husband, after awhile the sympathy he offers may simply be "what's the big deal" or he will find a story that makes you feel like you are not only discouraged but also just ungrateful. Because we could be starving to death or part of the underground sex trade. Right, thanks for that. Maybe we just need a minute to think outloud without judgment. [insert best friend] We tend to have more feelings then men. And it helps us to voice things, but after awhile I sort of feel like I'm the one with all the problems, and it's not true! (don't listen to your husband) [insert best friend] It's important to know you aren't alone. Sometimes we need someone else to hear about our family, and we definitely need someone to be our unpaid marriage therapist (just make sure they like your husband almost as much as they like you). So don't let your girl friends go. The very best ones are gifts from God. This one saved me in NC --> As it turns out, husbands promote said friendships because it makes their job easier. Happy wife, happy life - I said it.
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