Living With An Anarchist

I'm kind of kidding about the title. I mean in some moments it's completely true.

I feel like I need to share more stories. The little ones that happen e.v.e.r.y day like that period of silence you've been begging for the last hour, but you don't actually want because the silence of a toddler 95% of the time means crayons on the wall, another lost box of tissues, ear swabs all over the floor, the toilet as the new bath or something to that effect (I mean did she really have to stick her hand in the toilet after our friend's daughter went pee? Where was I? oh right). We love stepping on cheerios. They can reach that china and they will eat all the mints out of your purse no matter where you try to hide them. One day, they'll finally learn how the zipper works. It just takes that one time of being human and lacking the energy or second thought that involves hiding everything you hold dear from the little anarchists. Which is why I'm quickly learning not to care about having nice things or things I even call mine. I'm still human and feel like I want some things that don't come with sticky pages, but complete selflessness may not be reached in this life. However, getting married and having kids = large, significant steps in that direction. Because even if you fight it, you can't outlast it; said little tyrants will stop and look at you and say something ridiculously charming and your heart melts, because you're a sucker. 

After one time in nursery, grandma was told that they weren't sure how much Lexi understood from their little lessons, but the lesson that day was on saying they are sorry and as soon as Lexi heard that word she went around to every child giving hugs and saying "sorry." So they realized she knows that word. And they implied that we teach it to her . . . a lot. They may not be wrong. At the moment there are two toddlers here pretty regularly, which means there are several "put them in the ring" battles or just the casual body slam, face swipe, etc… most of the time I feel like I have to pick my battles because I just can't handle all the negativity. In normal circumstances, the daily environment would be a little different, i.e. I lack some control over what's available to her at the moment. Recently, she started throwing fits e.v.e.r.y time she wants something and we say no or at least it seems that way. I just kinda go back to what I was doing and try to ignore it, but I do tell her to get over it; I've just realized she isn't as easily consoled or distracted anymore. What, this spatula isn't amazing?! Oh it's a weapon. Now I have to give up the entire tupperware drawer...

We say this is the time where they learn habits, because it is true, but where is the line between behave well because you know better versus you aren't even two years old yet and you poo your pants without a second thought? So yes, she knows when she is doing something that will probably get her middle name hollered out, BUT is she really internalizing anything? To her, the world is a game and everyone should want to play with her even if she claims all the toys are hers. Because who doesn't enjoy playing with tyrants? (She can be fairly decent with sharing if it doesn't involve a doll)

Eventually, she will need to know when to use her inside voice, keep her hands to herself and share if she wants friends. We're assuming that's only if we repeat certain phrases from the time of their birth? Whatever. Until I can have an honest heart to heart, it's a 1 minute "time away"for the real sins of causing bodily harm, but for most things - I'm all about distraction or survival of the fittest. I guess we just want to know what all those parents with riotous children are doing so that we don't do that. Everyone has the answer.

Another leader said she has a son in the room who is always the rougher one, but she appreciates Lexi because she is the only one who can put up a fight and handle him. #fighttothedeathfortoys - And I appreciate people who can appreciate her!

Her most recent word has been "funny" and she mostly uses it in situations where she is causing messes. But she also goes "Maren funny". Typically, she throws the fruit down the stairs and says "funny" or dumps out the blocks as soon as you clean them up, etc… super funny!! Along with that, another word + action is "walk" as she pulls on your hand. She will fuss until you get up and walk with her to where ever she wants to go. Tyrant no? She has her moments. Again, our world revolves around them. So as soon as we internalize and accept that... Mickey Mouse on repeat for the hundredth time… joke! Obviously their experience with life is limited so we should not assume they know best even if they learned how to repeat the word as if they expected a cracker…

She talks to the Mickey Mouse show; it's not really an understandable language, but neither is Mickey Mouse. I can't tell you enough how obsessed she is with it. These days, she doesn't watch anything else. She just constantly asks for "Peeka" and definitely watches it too much. She will scream his name with complete euphoria. It's not an addiction. I mean it is. We are allowing those brain cells to slowly zap zap zap away because we are lazy. I mean I could go on about this with my lack of creativity, energy etc… but I'm just going to end it with a goal that one day my children will know what it's like to play outside.

I fear I focused on the negative, tyrant image of todders, but to be completely honest although everything above can cause headaches, it truly is a blessing to see your children grow and it is twenty times easier when they can communicate and do things on their own. Every phase is a blessing and a curse. The curse is really a chance for us adults to learn and grow. I will have my arms wrapped around her when she is laying on me and if I take them off, she will whine and go to grab my hands to put them back around her. I mean, you can't not love those moments when she waits for me at the top of the stairs while I run and grab something "okay mommy" - I mean seriously. I love this phase that encompasses more than "no". They want us to be happy. They want to make us happy. And it's the best thing to wake up to "hey mommy" every day.

Life likes to toss out lemons to catch our reactions. So today, it's nice to be happy. And secretly, we like cleaning up the messes and being the shoulder to cry on. All of the craziness makes life worth talking about. And we are all learning from each other. There is no one answer. Each child is different. That's why there are a billion books on this crap. And really only God knows.

And of course, Mr Smith