Skip to main content

Distractions

It is a little close to torture to go to the outlets (to return something for someone else) and window shop. It is torture 1. to be with a toddler and attempt pausing a few seconds to look at something of interest 2. to be with a toddler in a stroller with non-automatic doors 3. because even if you have some money now, you may not have it later, so you have to delay the gratification of a few sweaters no matter how much I justify needing a new wardrobe for UT winters. 4. If you're going to justify anything, it is going to be clothes for your children to stay warm. Children first, right?

It was distracting for a time, but sometimes I can't get away from my situation. Until I learn that someone else is struggling way worse than me, but in reality I just feel more guilty for not feeling anymore grateful for my own struggles. The distractions are mere moments, in my mind. They push me along, but technically I might as well still be drowning. Hyperbolizing of course. Don't freak out Mr Smith. Pity is the last thing I need. Support? Yes. A desire to laugh through the pain? Yes. And that is why you never lose your friendships, your sense of humor or your love for nature.

You can also go back to your favorite Taylor Swift song and other distractions from the last two months: 


    









Comments

Popular posts from this blog

To Live is to Change

I love change. I love variety. I love mixing things up just because I can. It's helpful, but it's kind of a double edged sword.  I'm terrible at consistency, even though Clifton Strengthfinder told me that was my #5 strength (I think they meant something closer to wanting things fair & equitable which isn't wrong). I not only move furniture in & out of my life, or make sure we don't eat the same thing too often... but I love that I can give my kids a flexible education. God knew this is something I would love & has allowed for it even when it comes with significant sacrifices (as many good things do). This has been a beautiful way to grow me over the last 4 years, and I definitely missed it, but I also started to doubt ever doing it again, which felt odd. I found myself questioning why I wanted to take the harder course. I had a little break with just E & M at home, but now B is back too, so I'm giving up some me time (I was never good at it any ...

Our Baby Story - Alexis

Alexis Jane Smith 04.27.13 - 5:16PM 8lbs 15oz - 22.5 inches brown hair, undetermined (blue) eyes NB clothes are too tight You hate diaper changes You love being swaddled You are a piranha for food Your skin is perfect You sleep better with noises You came out sucking on your fingers But luckily you're not a scratcher Basically, we think you're perfect. First day at home photo Dear Lexi,  We couldn't handle holding you inside my stomach for another minute. We made an appointment when the contractions never came. Things were changing, but you were still 7 days late. Maybe we were eager parents, but now that we have you in our arms, we understand why, really understand. You're amazing . By the time we showed up at your 6 AM hospital appointment to be induced, I was already 3.5 cm dilated & 90% effaced & having mild contractions. So mild I thought I might have had high pain tolerance because I didn't feel th...

There is a Plan for That

  Perhaps I'm ready to begin again, again. I struggle to add more words to the universe & I feel the same with photos. I let two of my passions die, both rather abruptly. My posts used to write themselves, I felt so guided in what God needed me to say. But this past year, my words have been removed. I moved from this blog over to Instagram as a better place to connect, but then everything became a distraction, and even the good distractions soon became too overwhelming. I can't possibly do every craft or recipe I've saved at this point. Unfortunately, I became painfully aware of my addictive attachment to my algorithm & lost much of my peace & productivity because of it. Satan knew, but I was too slow to recognize complacency & emptiness disguised as creative options & worldly debates. "The days are gone that you can be a quiet and comfortable Christian." I am definitely not raising quiet Christians, but perhaps we are still trying to be too co...