Skip to main content

Distractions

It is a little close to torture to go to the outlets (to return something for someone else) and window shop. It is torture 1. to be with a toddler and attempt pausing a few seconds to look at something of interest 2. to be with a toddler in a stroller with non-automatic doors 3. because even if you have some money now, you may not have it later, so you have to delay the gratification of a few sweaters no matter how much I justify needing a new wardrobe for UT winters. 4. If you're going to justify anything, it is going to be clothes for your children to stay warm. Children first, right?

It was distracting for a time, but sometimes I can't get away from my situation. Until I learn that someone else is struggling way worse than me, but in reality I just feel more guilty for not feeling anymore grateful for my own struggles. The distractions are mere moments, in my mind. They push me along, but technically I might as well still be drowning. Hyperbolizing of course. Don't freak out Mr Smith. Pity is the last thing I need. Support? Yes. A desire to laugh through the pain? Yes. And that is why you never lose your friendships, your sense of humor or your love for nature.

You can also go back to your favorite Taylor Swift song and other distractions from the last two months: 


    









Comments

Popular posts from this blog

And so it begins, again

At what point do you ... 1. Keep holding on waiting for inspiration to come 2. Try something different 3. Let go & walk away I'd say most of us are usually somewhere in between #1 & #2, but there are occasional moments where I find myself locked into another Jane Austin film with some oreos & milk ignoring reality all together.  Today, I'm trying to rise above some level of complacency & clear my mind at your expense. Mr Smith & I had a good run of it, but since blogs became obsolete in 2017 while Instragram chained us all to algorithms, I had no audience nor desire to write in this world. But times change, after it murders our souls, and alas we are famished for an authentic keyboard with less distractions again. So, let's catch up. They say it comes in threes... Since our job change in 2017, we experienced three more moves, three additional job changes (that don't necessarily align with the moves), and three additional children.  2018-2022 were ver...

Breaking Silence for Religion

I've never been good at being concise. I like words too much. I think outloud. And I haven't had time to blog all these conversations & posts & mental thoughts and it's eating at me to write it all down, to get it out there. These are some words that no one understands anymore: love, tolerance, faith, forgiveness, covenants, judgment, respect, moderation, self-worth, humility, equality...at least if they say they do, I wouldn't believe them. In truth, I think we should be forever understanding what these words mean. Yet I hear people affirming over & over again in their actions & with their voice that they want to be right and they want you to know it & accept the choices they're making. So much for democracy & freedom. They might say "to each his own" but I'm not idealistic anymore, people don't really believe that.  I reference "the world" a lot. Let's clarify what I mean. We can start with Holly...

Will We Seek Jesus?

God expects us to hold happiness and sorrow at the same time. It’s a beautiful contrary that many of us struggle to understand, but it’s really key to understanding our purpose on earth. We can easily find ourselves in a battle of emotions if we can’t accept that both can exist at the same time; we will falsely accuse ourselves or others as either ungrateful & weak, or overly strong & fake. Perhaps a lot of it is how we speak to the struggle.  Our main purpose is to experience heartache & frustration (one side of the coin), but to overcome it through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which provides everlasting joy (the other side of the coin). In order to really value the Atonement of Jesus Christ, many of us are humbled by the feeling of hopelessness. We will all experience some level of loss & acute awareness of our own weaknesses, usually when things start to feel out of our control. But what does holding both sorrow & joy look like? That is a quest...