Surprise! I Got You Something.

#cueanxietyattack

I feel like I need to write a disclaimer or two just to get it all out there.

#1 - Mr Smith actually wasn't my first Valentine. But you like how I initially remembered differently? Ha. And ironically, per this post, I did receive a "perfect" gift that year, haha. But I think I had told my bf at the time something I'd like and it wasn't my money, so take that for what it's worth Mr Smith.

#2 - see rant below

#diabetes 

Cause I'm all "but I didn't get you anything" and he says I did, the Skittles & Starburst. But ehh I'm torn. I'm torn about this idea of "gifts" for Valentines Day. I smiled at all the men carrying flowers out of the grocery store today. Mostly because I'm all "suckers" but partly because it's sweet too. I don't care what it is, men going out of their way to make women happy is, well, my definition of romantic. He thought of making me happy. So he stopped on his way home from work, thought about some things I would like, even knowing what my pathetic reaction might be, and bought them.

I told Mr Smith recently that I'm so used to the non brand stuff that when I happen to have the brand of something like "real Cheerios" I'm like "holy crap" that's amazing. But there is a reason why I settle for non brand stuff, which really in ignorance, is just fine. So for Mr Smith to remember the cereal I mentioned, is cute. But I'm all "gracious that big box probably cost $6 too much."

I'm sure I mentioned Almond Joys & Oreos at some point too. I'm not positive on the Moosetracks ice cream. He knows that it takes me forever to eat ice cream because I can't eat a lot at once, but that I always choose the ice cream that is not boring. The second part of me being difficult is that I don't really have favorites. My preferences change depending on my mood.

But for the record, just to get it out there, I think mint oreo has been my longest standing ice cream preference. Although I typically just get that in shake form at Cook Out once in a blue moon. I honestly don't think I have a favorite candy. Or dessert. I can only tell you in the moment. When I do spend money on those kinds of things, I want it to be 100% worth it, so that's why surprises give me anxiety.

To add clarification to all those who don't understand why I wouldn't like surprises . . . I'm just a control freak. I always feel like people try to surprise you in a sense to excite you, but it almost never excites me. It makes me nervous because I know my reaction will always falter to their expectations. I just come at things way too practically and even negatively (ugh I had that fault). I could always think how else that money should have been spent. Mr Smith said he knows I would have been 10xs happier  (not that I wasn't happy) if he put it in a box and shipped it to me, lol. I just laughed as I rolled over in bed because there is a lot of truth to that. I love packages and I love putting new things away. It's just really hard for me to accept others spending money on me. Things that aren't necessary. So in that way, it's very hard to get me a good surprise. One where I don't say where is the receipt, I'll take it back, haha. 

Dont I just sound like a party pooper? Don't worry, Mr Smith is almost the same. And he already knows all this. He knows that I will ask him if he paid full price. He knows to tell me it doesn't matter, I can't have the receipt, and just to get over it. And so I did. 

Monetary gifts are not our love language. 

We don't normally buy gifts, but when we do, 99% of it will be edible.

even if this was just something small. So is sparkling cider over carryout pizza watching Netflix on the couch. That's how we roll. That's honestly how we love it. Well, that's how Part I goes any way.