It's going to be a lovely year

So it's the first day of the New Year and the last day of my vacation.

And I guess the world didn't end. It's not such a laughable concept though.

But I'm not talking about the end of the world. Just about today, 1 January 2013.

16 weeks and I will become a mother. One with a live, screaming child.

But hopefully a child that just coos, don't ask me how to spell it.

Mr Smith may get the job offer we're looking for and that may mean we'll be in Winston-Salem for another few years. And chances are, we'll continue to live in the same apartment.

I'm looking up diaper deals (Amazon mom & diapers.com) and still deciding on one of those diaper bags. What kind of stroller do we think we'll need? (not the one Mr Smith nor I could intuitively unfold in the store). Do we need to let that dictate the car seat? These are the current questions. Will our baby be healthy? Will the pregnancy continue without complications? I pray nursing will keep us from needing formula. I pray all the costs will be outnumbered so that loans don't haunt us for too long. So that one day, we can afford to think about a home. Next year, I will have all these questions & worries answered.

But today is still today, it's one more day to pray harder and read for longer. It's one more day to keep the faith and love better. It's one more day I have with Mr Smith and a growing belly that kicks me with love (I only ever got cramps that one night I wrote about it so that's good). It's one more day I could get back on that exercise bike and build my heart's strength. It's one more day I can make new friendships or reconnect with old ones. It's one more day I could strive to do something different or the same.

I have been incredibly blessed since those single days of "I don't know what I'm doing with my life"

I just kept moving. I kept living each day with the hope of tomorrow, but the love for today.

Even when it's cold and gross outside. Even when I'm in the same sweatshirt I've worn all week with a dinner stain. Even when New Years Eve is spent in bed with my lover bundled up because we're trying to save on the electric bill and are just married-old-tired-farts. It's so much better with his body warmth & love & support.

I'm so glad I don't have to run away from the slow dances anymore.

Our Heavenly Father has blessed us with minds & bodies that allow us to create, to strengthen and to serve. I'm grateful for these blessings. Cheers to a new year and an awesome today.

Love, K

Comments

And so it begins, again

At what point do you ... 1. Keep holding on waiting for inspiration to come 2. Try something different 3. Let go & walk away I'd say most of us are usually somewhere in between #1 & #2, but there are occasional moments where I find myself locked into another Jane Austin film with some oreos & milk ignoring reality all together. Today, I'm trying to rise above some level of complacency & clear my mind at your expense. Mr Smith & I had a good run of it, but since blogs became obsolete in 2017 while Instragram chained us all to algorithms, I had no audience nor desire to write in this world. But times change, after it murders our souls, and alas we are famished for an authentic keyboard with less distractions again. So, let's catch up. They say it comes in threes... Since our job change in 2017, we experienced three more moves, three additional job changes (that don't necessarily align with the moves), and three additional children. 2018-2022 were ver...

Breaking Silence for Religion

I've never been good at being concise. I like words too much. I think outloud. And I haven't had time to blog all these conversations & posts & mental thoughts and it's eating at me to write it all down, to get it out there. These are some words that no one understands anymore: love, tolerance, faith, forgiveness, covenants, judgment, respect, moderation, self-worth, humility, equality...at least if they say they do, I wouldn't believe them. In truth, I think we should be forever understanding what these words mean. Yet I hear people affirming over & over again in their actions & with their voice that they want to be right and they want you to know it & accept the choices they're making. So much for democracy & freedom. They might say "to each his own" but I'm not idealistic anymore, people don't really believe that. I reference "the world" a lot. Let's clarify what I mean. We can start with Holly...

Will We Seek Jesus?

God expects us to hold happiness and sorrow at the same time. It’s a beautiful contrary that many of us struggle to understand, but it’s really key to understanding our purpose on earth. We can easily find ourselves in a battle of emotions if we can’t accept that both can exist at the same time; we will falsely accuse ourselves or others as either ungrateful & weak, or overly strong & fake. Perhaps a lot of it is how we speak to the struggle. Our main purpose is to experience heartache & frustration (one side of the coin), but to overcome it through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which provides everlasting joy (the other side of the coin). In order to really value the Atonement of Jesus Christ, many of us are humbled by the feeling of hopelessness. We will all experience some level of loss & acute awareness of our own weaknesses, usually when things start to feel out of our control. But what does holding both sorrow & joy look like? That is a quest...

Mr & Mrs Smith

Search This Blog