Two little screws

It's a long overdrawn story and I begin . . .

It has been 3 months and I still didn't get around to putting my VA tags on my car, and neither did Mr Smith.

I registered myself (finally) back in December just so everything was in my new name and all ready to go, but then there is the hassle of putting the front plates on which I've never had before. When my FL tags didn't expire till July - what was the rush?

Oh. VA tax bullies are the rush. Someone came around and essentially told on my FL tags to my father so it encouraged me to attach my plates before they come back to fine and tow, and who knows what, to my car.

<This is where the part of the story turns into complete frustration and involves utter destruction of my emotional state>

So there is a Home Depot right on my way home. Perfect right? I'll go in and get some screws that Eric and my father have both described and all will be well. People will be there to assist and I am grown and can do this simple task. Two little screws.

Um no. 

Right after I found the aisle (fairly quickly although I could easily be spotted for being where I don't belong) I see the wall of screws. Like a 10 foot football field wide wall of screws. Machine screws. Those look like good choices. I didn't have a flat head screw driver to compare the screws on the back of my car, but I took a good look at the front and was fairly sure of the size, after comparing a #6 to #8 as well as deciding that a 2 inch would be good, that I had it. Nuts and washers. I find the non-flat lock washers. Who knew. I do now. By no means of assistance from any worker because I was too slow to grab one before someone else took their attention, I make my $1.50 purchase. I get to my car. The screw fits in half way, perhaps could be screwed the rest . . . but something doesn't feel right. Oh the head of the screw is smaller than the hole in the license plate. 

"Go ask someone; they have flat heads and can help you."

Flat heads is right. Deer-in-the-freakin-headlights he was. I don't need someone to repeat what I just said. Obviously the clueless one over here needs new suggestions. After I was convinced just to go find a "bigger head" I headed back into the store. Another worker asked this dude for assistance so I figured he has to be the smart one. I wait in line and finally he turns to me. I say "I have this plate and I need to attach it to the front of my car, here's the screw that's the size of the hole, but the head is too small." After some debate he hands me a complete opposite screw to my initial choice. 

Me: "But this is bigger than the hole"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "But it will still work?"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "Okay, then I'll leave the screwing to my husband"

Me: (to myself) "WTH"

Him: "Yes"

Me: "Thank you"

So finally I think I have the right screw, 1 hour later. (12" not a 6") I just had to get in two more lines to return the previous stupid screws.  I get to my car and get home and begin to attach the plates. I attach the back plate and then realize "where the freak are the license stickers." 

I start crying. No-where-to-be-found.

More tears because I'm going back to Home Depot.

I pray and right before I hit the highway I think

"check the back seat of your car; I initially had them resting there"

Bingo - but only the year part. 

Still a blessed thank you, enough to calm my incoherent frustrations.

I pull over and start hunting down the month sticker. To no avail, I drive on to see if I would have any luck with the parking lot where the stupid man wasted my time earlier. Nothing, not down the isle, no where. I text Mr Smith who is just now coming out of class. He was sweet, but I explained how my life was so difficult, haha (but I was not laughing). Actually, it is more frustrating knowing a situation is so simple. I hate when things are complicated when I know they should not be.

Mr Smith came home and made things better.

The next morning we waited in line at the DMV while discussing the inefficiency and sheer annoyance of public institutions governed by poor management, eliciting lazy cultures.

Worker: "You've had your plates this long without putting your stickers on?"

My face: "Shut up lady, you half come to work every day and move at turtle speed using sharp, impatient tones and expect me to want to explain anything to you?"

Oh Wait.

The holes don't match up on the front of the car.

Mr Smith will fix that tonight.

Screw it. Over it.