Freedom to Choose

I don't have an explanation for everything. Clarification: most things. However, I still have faith that everything that matters is explainable and perhaps even everything - even if it's not worth explaining - I just don't think I'll understand it all now. I don't pretend to be naive about most of life's struggles; I am. I realize I only see through my eyes and I definitely realize every day that I'm lucky someone decided to stick by my crazy side and be there as I learn along the way. It's nice to learn alongside Mr Smith. I think it can be hard not to compare ourselves to other people - and just live - exactly the way we want, within our means. 

The thought came to me on my way home. I've been trying to really understand our purpose here. We've been teaching our 6 year olds why we came to earth. We came to earth to get a body and to fulfill God's plan for us - to choose for ourselves to follow God. There's a certain level of unity when you focus on the idea that we all chose to follow God (originally), but that wasn't my thought tonight. I think human bodies are weird and understanding what a spirit is without a body is interesting, but that wasn't my thought tonight either.

Choice. The theme for this year in our class is CTR (Choose the Right). But outside of that, what is the significance of Choice and Freedom? Rhetorical. How much blood has fought over this thing we call Agency and the Freedom to Choose? In so many ways, so much. Is there anything Free about it? Yes, but of course it always comes at a cost. Do we always have a choice? Yes, even if it means giving it up. What's the opposite of Agency? Bondage. Why is there this innate desire to prove to myself that I can make the right choice and make something worthy of myself - on my own? The spirit can motivate us to desire good things, but it's not that, the question is asking about independence. Pride is that answer. Is it ever completely on my own? Sometimes. How come Agency is supposed to be all about me, but affects so many people? It never was about me was it? That's the answer, kind of. It's kinda like "all you can do for the benefit of your stewardship."

<end of brainstorm>

We hear blind faith and we picture people just walking around lost. Faith is not blind, it's just learning to trust the eyes of someone else. Someone else who knows better than we do. I know we have set backs all the time, either from bad choices and consequences that inevitably come, or just life's trials that exist to make us stronger. In both situations we can come off stronger if we decide to change and move in the right direction.

I am giving kudos to my friend tonight who is letting go of something she never thought she could let go of. She is opening herself up to insecurity and unsurety. She is dropping everything comfortable for an idea of where she wants to be. She is scared and doesn't know what's happening tomorrow let alone a month, a year from now, but she is moving forward. She doesn't feel it, but I know she is. 

We make choices from desires and we don't always know where these desires come from, but we can identify whether they are good or bad, whether or not we're still crying or still scared, we know we have to move and we choose to leave the dead end. We pick ourselves up and feel that we're started back at ground zero again. But we're not. Inside of us is a will to choose something better for ourselves that before we weren't able to do. 

We are so much better than our imperfections.

Don't doubt it. Love it. Live it. Share it.