Mr & Mrs Smith

Labor Timeline Tuesday, March 8th Elective Induction, 1 day after my due date Don't I look insanely giddy with my makeup all done and hair straightened? It all goes to pots in 7 hours. I mean I guess I'm still giddy. 6:30 Hospital check-in, 2.5 cm 70%, no contractions 8:30 Petocin 10:30 Doc broke my water, 3 cm 80%, -2 position Hunger pains more than anything up to this point. Eric got breakfast served 11:00 Reached highest dose of petocin 11:15 Pain reaches around the back, fluid still leaking, contractions 2-3 minutes apart peaking for 10-15 seconds, finally feeling difficult contractions but manageable 11:30 Flavored ice chips are awesome. Watching HGTV, contraction patterns good, just waiting for them to get strong and open the cervix. 12:00 4.5 cm, head lower, more fluid leakings 12:15 Ordered epideral even though contractions still manageable 1:00 Epideral, 5 cm, the needle was more painful than expected, legs & bum p...

Day 3 was Saturday. We paid rent, came home and rested. I actually got excited about some pretend contractions & a mucus plug. We went to Toys'r'us because I wanted to see their bike options for Lexi's birthday (still unsure) and walk some. Came home and rested (all that walking…). We got Krispy Kreme donuts. Came home and rested. Day 2 was Sunday, I put on the last top that still covers my belly. Lexi and I both were dressed and ready to leave for 9 AM church on time when dad pulled in from his meetings. We rested. I made dinner. I caught up on some reading while Mr Smith and Lexi played mario cart. I spent time waiting on text updates from my brother. The kitchen was cleaned and Mr Smith actually cleaned up that storage area that has been chaos since his last mountain climb. I woke up from some contractions in the night. I've had them on and off since Friday, but nothing consistent and nothing progressing. Day 1 is today. I woke up at 7 AM. In 24 hour...

My thoughts as Mr Smith and I read through "The Miracle of Forgiveness" I think we make a lot of excuses and justifications for not becoming our best selves. I think we want to sugarcoat our efforts but inevitably put off our shortcomings as a natural part of life. Not because they aren't, but because we aren't ready to change them. It is probably worse if we refuse to recognize weaknesses as something to overcome. However, we really want those closest to us to do that very same thing. We like being comfortable and maybe that is the biggest hurdle for many of us. When life becomes uncomfortable, we don't evaluate it as life going according to plan - quite the contrary. We want to go back to comfortable as quickly as possible, but maybe we should recognize it as our chance to grow, become stronger...to become worthy of greater blessings. And maybe, just maybe we should even encourage the uncomfortable. We may call these uncomfortable times as trials, i...

Like literally, when you can't count by months or weeks even, the anticipation escalates. "Any day now" thanks for inductions. I'm already in bed by 9 and falling asleep at the dinner table. I'm up with the sun by 7:30 and every morning the same thought crosses my mind first - I guess I made it through another night; here goes another day of potential contractions. At my 39 week apt, I was a tight 2cm dilated, still at 70% effaced. So I've been low for a month, but the contractions are still waiting to get the real action started. My doc tried to stretch things out as best she could and advised that I get to walking. Too bad I have been feeling nauseous again. As if my stomach is in my throat, probably because it is. Typical symptoms aside, it's the anxiety more than anything. Am I REALLY ready for the pain again? How else can I make best use of this time? Am I really ready to nurse and be up all night again? Will I have better control over my emotion...

It's week 38. It feels really easy to document every week now since it goes by SO freakin slow in the last month. I know I know I know it's hard to remember the pains of the black out newborn month, but change is necessary I tell ya. We've been waiting for him to show and are just wanting to deal with whatever comes (hopefully he comes with 10 fingers & 10 toes). I'm no longer dependable at work or church because "any day now." I hate when every day or moment makes you wonder "If I start contractions here & now, what would the plan be" etc… so annoying. We worry until we know everything is going to be okay, and then we move on to worrying about something else (like is he breathing as he sleeps). Even the second time around, I want to know what my birth story will be. Currently, baby boy still hasn't progressed since week 36 (perhaps only to 70% effaced) and my elective induction date is set for Tuesday, March 8th. So we wait at least 12...

With two weeks until d-day, I wasn't worried about laboring alone (yes I was). I was also concerned about his life. It might have been a small risk, smaller than driving down the highway, BUT it doesn't mean I don't worry the entire time, minus the part when I'm still sleeping in my warm, comfy bed. However, I am glad he and Kevin could finally reach their goal to summit Nebo (as close as allowed). He tells me about the cougar prints in their tracks on the way down and the potential cliff made of pure snow (no solid ground) that finally made them stop on the way up. Ya know, those are my favorite stories to hear. At least Kevin brought his phone & took pictures. They left at about 4 PM to drive up there and start hiking. Probably hiked a mile in before they made camp on Friday night. Then hiked for 8 hours to the top and 4 hours back down on Saturday. So we decided to have a girls night, which was kind of nice as our 1-1 right before the baby comes....

I just finalized my performance review for last year.  Apparently I reached something that is very rare. I feel like the only way to go is down, but that's just where my mind goes. Let's stay up for a second and let that sink in; I'm doing something right, at least in one aspect of my life. I'm valued. I might still be caught up in the details to always feel confident, but my effort is noticed and appreciated. And it is nice finally getting to a place where you can be confident in what you do. What I do might sound uninviting to many, but I love having a distraction that allows me to continue to develop general management skills while still being a mother for most of the hours in the day. I have nothing against those that choose to work full-time; I know part of them don't want to, but I completely understand why they do. However, we can be honest in the fact that part of being a mother is taken from you when you make that choice - you hand it off to someone el...