Thursday

Yes, I have a timer. Useful that thing is.

I was going to bed and then I thought what the heck, I'll gnaw on some homemade bread and throw some excess verbiage out into the unknown.

All at once I feel like my back molar might fall out, an invisible ant is crawling on my arm and I didn't know how to spell gnaw.

I was doing the dishes I ignored and then forgot about when it was a sane time to do them, so I'm trying to pick up each dish in a whisper. But we have ants now, so it has to be done. My best and most humorous thoughts come to mind late at night during my dish washing chores, but hardly anyone hears them because I am left alone and I forget by the time I come to the computer.

But let me ask you a question. Do you ever have those times where dinner goes all wrong? I feel like that is my moment in the 24 hour day to prove myself. The babes are always irritable and demanding. The honey is running late at the office. Your temperature is rising, the mess piles up from the meals earlier that day, there's the stress of committing to a meal you had in mind, the meat you forgot to thaw, etc… etc… . And then the pasta is overcooked. At least more times than not a meal fail involves overcooked pasta. Why does this happen more than once Mr Smith? I don't know. YES I HAVE A TIMER. My moment of shine turned into outer darkness, but it's not because Mr Smith is upset (he knows better). Even when Mr Smith doesn't give me credit on a good meal, mostly the soups or loaded veggie meals, I will give myself an A+ and move along happy as a clam until the next 6 PM. But on the days of meal bombs, I just want to bang my head against a window because there was so much potential. Gone. 

Mr Smith eats ice-cream. I eat cereal. Alexis is thrown under the bus and is given the overcooked pasta.
It's really not the end of the world. But sometimes it seems that way.

Just know, for every meal I cheer about and post to Instagram, another bomb goes off. I read somewhere how all these social media outlets portray false lives. Which is true. I'm trying to keep it real. 

And I might as well document it here as one of THE BIGGEST pet peeve's I have, outside of inefficiency, is when your husband walks in through the door on his phone. When the pasta is boiling, the babe is screaming, and you have something to say because heck, no one has heard you for the past 12 hours. Hey babe + kiss on the cheek = less overcooked pasta. Even if it's your mother.

#huff

Never Enough

Sometimes I'm up way too late stalking photo blogs thinking about how much cooler I could be, maybe thinking a little bit about how far I've come, but mostly about how far I have to go. I know you may think I'm foolish, but I doubt myself all the time! I have yet to balance confidence and room for improvement. I like things to happen fast. So for me, I'm ready to try again tomorrow. But I also want the big staging area and prop wall. And then a second later I wonder if any of it is worth it. I wonder if I'm good enough. If people even care about photos. Since when did positioned babies and backdrops become a thing? I'm a minimalist at heart, but there are several categories where I feel like I could easily splurge with no practical reasoning at all, unless "just because they're great" counts. Mr Smith says no.

1. Photo props. I-love-thrift-stores. And window shopping etsy.
2. Fabric or blankets. Always a project. Always cold toes.
3. Cookbooks. Just in case I want to love cooking and baking.
4. Boxes or cute containers. Little things need a home.
5. Scarves. All the pretty colors . . .


I should probably stop at five.



Monday

Perfect Moments

They are so rare! I am the biggest whiner I know and I can definitely be a debbie downer if I'm not careful. I don't mean to be that way, I just tend to see what could be better. Some people get really bogged down by that so I try to bite my tongue on occasion. But it's nice when I don't even have to try. Like this one time Mr Smith treated Lexi and I to lunch.

We found a nifty boutique and antique mall up the way (I got that rocker that I plan on painting white for 50% off, so $15, exactly what I was hoping for), experienced the best teriyaki chicken I've ever had at Nara's & took a stroll along a beautiful little park right next to Mr Smith's office. We even ran into some friends when we stopped by Aldi on the way home (Lenior has an Aldi too so we killed two birds with one trip)




What other perfect moments do I remember? I definitely need to make sure I write them all down. What a fun list to go back to!

Perhaps when I realized this cookbook from my MIL has it all and that I finally made the perfect batch of chocolate chip cookies. Seriously the dough and the cookies the following day were delicious. Also, the moment when Alexis kept giggling for a solid 5 minutes over this cat that let her love her.



And then finding old memories like a notebook page of Mr Smith's texts during our engagement.
These are the moments of perfection.

Date Night

I'm trying to play catch up before our FL trip completely forgets about adorable moments like this one time when we had Asher come play while the rest of his family went skating. I was so excited for Lexi to have a playmate. She has always done well with other kids. She shares. She hugs. She acts like they are immediately her bff. You can't get much more adorable than the following . . .




She also became bffs with all of the girls at church on Wednesday night:




Ordinances & Covenants

The Sunday lesson for this month is Ordinances & Covenants. I combined the lesson into what, how & why:

What?

An ordinance is a sacred, formal act that has spiritual meaning.  Some ordinances are essential to our exaltation, called saving ordinances, which are baptism, confirmation, Melchizedek Priesthood, temple endowment & temple sealing.

 As part of each saving ordinance, the recipient makes covenants with God. A covenant is a sacred agreement between God and His children.

 "Throughout our lives, whether in times of darkness, challenge, sorrow, or sin, we may feel the Holy Ghost reminding us that we are truly sons and daughters of a caring Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we may hunger for the sacred blessings that only He can provide. At these times we should strive to come to ourselves and come back into the light of our Savior’s love." (Hales)

 How?

 We become converted and spiritually self-reliant as we prayerfully live our covenants—through (1) worthily partaking of the sacrament, (2) being worthy of a temple recommend, and (3) sacrificing to serve others.

 "As our desires to learn and live the gospel increase, we naturally seek to serve one another. The Savior said to Peter, 'When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.'" (Hales)

 "In addition to the spiritual self-reliance we have been discussing, there is temporal self-reliance, which includes getting a postsecondary education or vocational training, learning to work, and living within our means. By avoiding debt and saving money now, we are prepared for full-time Church service in the years to come. The purpose of both temporal and spiritual self-reliance is to get ourselves on higher ground so that we can lift others in need." (Hales)

 Let’s have a talk with ourselves in the mirror and ask, “Where do I stand on living my covenants?” We are on the right path when we can say, “I worthily partake of the sacrament each week, I am worthy to hold a temple recommend and go to the temple, and I sacrifice to serve and bless others.” (Hales)

 Why?

 Power from on high. We need it.

True happiness & everlasting joy: My renewed inspiration on that was this: People assume this life on earth is our chance to live in glory and receive wealth and experience joy, but it is only a taste. The purpose of this life is to challenge and prepare us for an everlasting joy we can barely comprehend. We go about our days with an attitude that my life is perfect only when I remove the inconveniences that come my way. We're so set on our dream of a beautiful home on earth, that we forget the one that awaits - one that is so beautiful we cannot comprehend it. Our joy here is truly temporary if not founded within the covenants that connect joy to the future. So what if you don't build your dream home on earth, every man-made dwelling will be for not when we comprehendeth all that the Father has to offer.

Respect and love for our Savior and Father in Heaven: Who of us is not moved by Jacob and Rachel’s biblical love story as we read, “And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her”? Sisters, do we keep our covenants with that kind of deep and devoted love?

Elder Holland movingly suggested, “I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: ‘Did you love me?’” Tonight I invite each of us to evaluate how much we love the Savior, using as a measure how joyfully we keep our covenants. The Savior said, “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”


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