I haven't had the desire to blog. I'm not sure if it's my attitude, exhaustion, lack of things to say or too much that's full of negativity or things I shouldn't say. Mr Smith has quit his job and his 3 week notice came and went. He has prospects, but for me, waiting one day seems like years. I'm grateful that his joy is back, we're happier & there is still hope. However, we don't intend on staying when at one point we thought we might. Nothing is keeping us here and perhaps it's just time to move on. I just can't see the future and that's hard for me. It's hard for me to give up control and wait. I think my ability to forgive & let go should be greater. And I think my faith should be stronger. I'm disappointed in myself and perhaps just exhausted from work & the kids. This is a HARD age with Dallin not communicating still (outside of pointing with grunts), yet getting into everything. He got a viral infection that ...
It's really just beginning: Sometimes, even as ordinary as it seems, I need to share it. To get it all out there. It drives Mr Smith nuts that I share my life. But I do. And this is it. We aren't perfect, but I love Mr Smith and this blog is dedicated to our life together. It's so I can remember. It's so our children may know."